Our Condolences

Our condolences if you are searching these pages as a result of being bereaved recently. Since you are searching these pages, we would assume that you are a believer in a God who loves all of us eternally, and He has the measure of all things, including death, as demonstrated in His Son Jesus Christ.

This section is meant to be a practical help, but please contact your minister if you think he can help in any way in whatever matter, especially in the longer term after the service.

Probably by the time you have reached this point, you will have been through some of the following steps.

When you first discover a death at home:

• If it is after illness and is expected, contact your doctor, and then the undertaker. The former must certify the cause of death, and the undertaker will remove the body with dignity in preparation for burial or cremation. If the death is in hospital, the staff will give their advice and help.
• Hopefully, long before they died, the departed will have made known their preferences especially regarding cremation or burial. This saves much heartache in decision making at a difficult time when death does come. If it is to be cremation, two doctors must certify the cause of death.
• If the death is sudden, i.e. more than two weeks since the last doctor’s visit, then a doctor will probably need to inform the police or the coroner. If there is any cause for suspicion about the death not being natural, contact the police immediately.

Registration

• Most registrars now have an appointments system. When you go to register, you will need the certificate the doctor or hospital gives you, identification, such as Birth Certificate and Marriage certificate (usually for a married woman who changed her surname), and the deceased’s National Health card. The person registering must qualify as being able to register, such as a close relative. An in-law relative is also qualified. It is advisable to get several Death Certificates because it is likely that they will need to be posted to several individuals or companies for e.g obtaining Insurance money, proving a will, and gaining access to bank accounts for the deaceased.
• You will also receive from the Registrar the Disposal Certificate (unless a Coroner is involved.)  This is a green form which you must give to the undertaker. No funeral or Cremation can take place without it being given to the appropriate authority, either the Vicar at the Churchyard, or the Crematorium official.

Preparation for the funeral.:

• The undertaker will arrange times and venues for the funeral and any tea after it in liaison with the crematorium or the church, and then caterers. He will also make press announcements for you and order flowers. You, of course will want to inform close relatives and friends personally.
• Be prepared in you own minds about the funeral. Hopefully the deceased has left instructions about which two hymns you will have, and any other wishes about readings or eulogies. If not, please confer with your family so as not to upset anyone at such a vulnerable time.
• The Vicar will call to discuss the service in details.
• During the service, he will announce for you if all mourners are invited to the funeral tea, and its venue.
• He will also announce where monies in lieu of flowers are to be given, via the undertaker, or the family. Donations to the church collection plate will be shared between the chosen charity and the church.
• If you are having a printed service order, the Vicar’s advice should be sought, but the undertaker will be considerate in producing the order for you.

At the Church gate and entrance.

• When the cortege arrives at the church, the Vicar will meet you at the gate. When most of those travelling in private cars are assembled, the car doors will be opened for you. It is protocol for the nearest relative to be nearest the front both of the procession and the church.
• The Vicar will lead the procession with the Undertaker, followed by the bearers with the coffin, then the family.
• Ideally, friends will be in church before the cortege arrives at church. This saves much time in assembling when feelings are stressed. The front rows are always reserved, and it is desirable for all concerned that the next of kin is closest to the coffin.
• Because services follow one another at the crematorium, it is unusual for friends to be in situ before the entrance of the coffin. This does add time in settling for the start, when only 20 minutes are permitted for the whole service.
• Entrance music in church should always be played on the organ. The crematorium has a good speaker system that allows for CDs or tapes to be played, but experience has shown that the sound of imported speakers (of whatever quality) in church is inadequate and unworthy.
• It is correct procedure to remain standing at the beginning of the service until the end of the first hymn. Understandable exceptions are made to this for the infirm or elderly.