Choosing a stone

Most local stonemasons know the regulations and will not suggest a stone that would not be allowed. Please follow their advice. Catalogues frequently show memorials that may be allowed in local authority or other graveyards but would not meet the regulations in these churchyards. Remember, every detail of the memorial must be within regulations and approved.

If you have any doubts or concerns, please contact the Vicar.

Upright stones are not permitted in the cremated remains section, and neither are polished stones.

Beware of buying by mail order or from afar. There have been unscrupulous merchants more concerned for profit than for the law assuring mourners that “That will be alright” without any reference to the regulations. It would be tragic to have a stone provided that would not be permitted to be sited. Check with the Vicar or Undertaker about the credentials of the mason if you are in any doubt.

Choosing an inscription.

The chancellor’s regulations give some of the criteria, but much of this is common sense. Please do not go for lengthy pieces of poetry or epitaphs, and remember, it is a Christian burial ground, so be sensitive to the meanings or inferences of the words. A line from a popular tune may seem a good idea, but may run contrary to Christian belief. Brief is usually best. The stone will be in the churchyard long after we are dead, so be sensible about e.g. being “remembered forever” when we will not be around to do the remembering. Only God is eternal and controlling our eternal life.

Nicknames are not permitted. Dignity is important, and “Father” or “Mother” is preferable to “Dad” or “Mam”.  The churchyard is a public place and epitaphs are there for all to read. Be careful to address the stone to the public, not your family. The pain of loss is most acute immediately after the funeral and for the first few months. It is possible in the epitaph to say in these months something that reflects the pain of loss that may be regretted when that pain is healed somewhat by time.

You are commemorating your loved one, not your pain.